The 1996 McChump ??/365 Racing Tour

8 Exciting Tracks! 5 Thrilling Stories!

Super Chump Weekend
  • Turf Paradise, Phoenix, AZ, Jan. 27 - Feb. 4
  •   Not really much new to report on this trip, except about a bazillion touristas gomming up the Phoenix roadways on Super Bowl weekend, and a remodeled backside cafe and bar at TuP. Our motto: "The Backside Cafe - We Cater to Horsemen". Not surprising, as you need horseman credentials to get on the backside in the first place.
    McChump Returns to Paradise
  • El Comandante, Canovanas, PR, Feb. 19
  • Bad Bettin', Chump!
  • Sportsman's Park, Cicero, IL, Spring
  • Man. I got hammered at SPT this Spring. I quit going.
    I'm Tellin' Ya Chump - The 4's the Horse!
  • Golden Gate Fields, Albany, CA, May 3-4
  • The Racin's Pretty Much Incidental, Chump!
  • Prairie Meadows Racetrack and Casino, Altoona, IA, May 11
  • Elvis is Everywhere, Chump!
  • Arlington International Racecourse, Arlington Heights, IL, Aug. 10
  • The Million Chump March - Part 1
  • Arlington International Racecourse, Arlington Heights, IL, Aug. 23-25
  •   As the front end of a back-to-back McChump Tour, the 1996 Arlington International Festival of Racing and its jewel the Arlington Million offered surprisingly little in the way of stupidity to write about. Except that McChump #2 fell in love with the small animals in AP's petting zoo. We had the devil's own time dragging him away from the baby camel.
    The Million Chump March - Part 2
  • Prescott Downs, Prescott, AZ, Labor Day Weekend
  •   The back end of the Million Chump March didn't offer much in the line of documentable stupidity, either, probably because we were so worn out from the weekend before, and maybe because we were so worried about the impending first start of our 2yo, German Brown. However, one of our party did sing along with stupid '70's songs at the top of his lungs at dinner Saturday evening, while another managed to pass out face first in her dinner salad, waking up just in time to make it inside to the ladies room before disaster struck. So that was pretty cool. The bikers who were sharing the big picnic table with us weren't all that amused, though, and left in a huff.
    Forget the Speed ... Are the 4's Holding, Chump?
  • Arlington International Racecourse, Arlington Heights, IL, Sept. 28
  • Free Turkey Dinner, Chump!
  • Turf Paradise, Phoenix, AZ, Thanksgiving Weekend
  •   Well, after two great prep races, German Brown went off as the co-favorite in the Arizona Breeder's Futurity, only to choke and finish 5th. Bummer. Luckily, the flight to Phoenix was made totally worthwhile by the !!FREE!! Thanksgiving dinner McChump #2 and me found laid out at the local pub down the street from the big cardboard refrigerator box that McChump #2 lives in. Mmmmmmm ... that's living - Thanksgiving Dinner in a bar, right next to the pinball machine.
    Give it Up, Chump!
  • Hawthorne Racecourse, Stickney, IL, Fall
  •   Man. I just couldn't quite get in the groove at HAW. Unfortunately for my bankroll, I didn't quit going. Some improvements in the food selection at HAW this season. Bennie still cool, but assigned to a Budweiser stand.

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